I think a lot of people will agree with me on this: there’s something about studying outside that makes us more productive. Right? That’s what we did. Well, almost.
Last Wednesday, I met up with my friend Elai. I told her that I’ve been itching to try the different hang out places in Valenzuela. A lot of establishments opened and it’s so convenient that there are new cafés, milk tea places, and restaurants just near our homes. Back in high school, we only had SM Valenzuela to go to. Now, there are a number of choices.
I also promised myself that I’ll blog about these places because I’m just so proud of our city. There’s even a park being built that will house restaurants, Pancake House to name one. Good job, Gatchalians!
Anyway, we went to T-Cup Zone. It was Elai’s second time to order, but her first one to dine in. She brought her notes, (she’s preparing for Pharmacy board exam) and we talked while she jotted down and I doodled.
I’m telling you that this place is worth your money. I ordered the set meal of Roasted Beef Rice Roll and a large Taiwan Milk Tea with pearls, which costs P110. It saved me P15!
It was very cheap. How?Read more
It’s as if a heavy object on my shoulder had suddenly labeled itself: depression.
They say the first step to solving a problem is acknowledging the problem itself.
I think I may have been experiencing it. I actually don’t know. Do depressed people even know that they are depressed?
I googled signs of depressions and here is what the intrawebz told me.
Signs and symptoms of depression include:
Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
Loss of interest in daily activities. No interest in former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
I’ve really been tired of school activities. I don’t even do much but I get so burned out.
Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
I eat even if I’m not hungry.
Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).
Either I don’t get to sleep immediately or I oversleep. Most times, both.
Anger or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
This usually takes its toll on my niece. I always feel sorry for her afterwards.
Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
I make a to-do list for the week but I barely get to tick off everything in there.
Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports.
I’ve been trying to quit smoking. But lately, I puff more that my usual cigarette sticks.
Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
I thought I was just getting old. But I’m 21 years old, so probably not. And even with my to-do list, I still forget what to do. Even the list itself is forgotten.
Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.
My hemangioma, on my face, gets so painful sometimes. Other times I feel something on my breast, or my lower right abdomen, or my back.
I just want to get over this. I want to graduate this academic year but even that doesn’t push me to be more productive.
I don’t get to tell people because I get shy. I tend to feel so alone. I am always surrounded by a lot of people—in school, at home— but I always feel so lonely.
My only outlet is writing. I tried crying for help earlier when I tweeted “I think about suicide a lot,” but even social media doesn’t help.
I can’t even explain why I feel this way.